In decades of my existence (almost five as I write this), I haven’t been able to zero in on a noun that I aspire to be labeled with. Labels/titles I donned in the course of my life; student, tutor, programmer, lead, architect, etc., have always seemed incomplete. I am more certain of the work I did than the labels I was tagged with. In general I have been comfortable filling gaps or being the scaffolding among teams. I love to explore, learn, read, code, create, design, solve problems, find hacks, improvise, discuss, share, support,… - Involving myself in meaningful ways that matter. So, I have always preferred to assume roles suitable in a context and having a title as long as it was relevant or useful. Otherwise I have found titles to be restrictive to the fluidity of my being and I have sometimes detested them.
Besides I have always considered myself an amateur in everything, perpetually raw - Hence my chosen name rawjeev that roughly translates to Raw-Life.
I never wish to be easily defined. I’d rather float over other people’s minds as something strictly fluid and non-perceivable; more like a transparent, paradoxically iridescent creature rather than an actual person.
— Franz Kafka.
I live on Earth at present, and I don’t know what I am. I know that I am not a category. I am not a thing - a noun. I seem to be a verb, an evolutionary process - an integral function of the universe.
— R. Buckminister Fuller.
I find it soothing to have come across how Franz Kafka & Buckminister Fuller have chosen to describe themselves. I find companionship in their words.
I have identities. My identities are contextual and fluid. They are like words in a tag cloud, some bold and big, some small and obscure - The cloud is always changing, shifting. Here I shall give a sprinkling of a few labels that are bold at this juncture: Farmer, Gardener, Maker, Son, Father, House Husband, Teacher, Pupil, Tinkerer, Tribesman, Beggar, Fool.
I am trying to live up to what Jim Morrison said:
Give up defining yourself - to yourself or to others. You won’t die. You will come to life. And don’t be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it’s their problem. Whenever you interact with people, don’t be there primarily as a function or a role, but as the field of conscious presence. You can only loose something that you have, but you cannot loose something that you are.
I am Work In Progress.